Lessons

I had my hospital visit today at the Oncology Ward of a nearby medical centre.

It was not so much an eye-opening experience, but a reinforcement of the notions and concepts that I already believe in firmly. To the uninitiated, oncology is the medical term for cancer, and the ward is most certainly a gloomy and depressing place.

Let me be honest. Most of the patients there are either dead or dying.

It was not a place of hope.

I managed to interview a man who is suffering from a form of lung cancer known as non small-cell carcinoma. I believe it is at the terminal stage.

He is 41 years old. Married, with 3 kids aged 8, 11 and 14. He has a wife, a home, a family. He has a life. Or had.

He used to be a painter and a smoker; and doctors told him that nearly 25 years of doing both gave him what he had today. Worse still, he did not heed the doctor's advice and continued smoking and drinking while undergoing his initial chemo and radio therapy sessions. The tumour shrunk then, but it quickly grew back. That happened each time he underwent treatment, and this is his third already.

He spoke a lot, as will anyone who believes himself to be dying would. How he regretted not listening to his doctor's and wife's advice. How he felt sad that he won't be able to see his kids grow up. How his cancer helped his siblings quit drinking and smoking. How he would like to spend the rest of his days.

He seemed outwardly strong, but his eyes betrayed him.

He was afraid. He was alone. And he cried during the interview.

Each time he said his regrets about not heeding the doctor's words, he would glance at the attending physician. Each time he talked about his future and hopes of recovery, you could see the strain on his face and his mincing of words so as not to bring his hopes up too high.

Desperation and hopelessness. How much more empty can you get?

There is a saying, that life is too short to learn just from our own mistakes.

Do any of you see that now?

People only cherish what they have when they are about to lose it.

And it's always, always just too little, too late. Nobody wants to be caught in that situation, yet people who are in a position to do something refuse to.

Denial.

We are all in denial of our problems. Some more serious than the others. But really, all denial does is to stop us from rectifying what's wrong.

Treasure the kind hearted advice that people dispense. Don't let it fall on empty ears. Love the people around you not by pleasing them, but by loving yourself.

You will always know what is good for you, but are you ready to do what is good over what is easy?

Think about it.

P.S. I've heard from Grace that nearly all of you smoke. Disgusting. Learn something today please.